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Samhain

Samhain, I wait til the evening, wait to light the candles, lights in the darkness representing the loved ones who left me and that I miss so much. One for grand, one for my lost dog Arcane... and for each year the lights grow in number. It is said that the pain of loosing becomes easier with time. I hoped it would be so. No use of telling me it was their time, it was the age that made them leave. As life goes on and we live our life, I still have moments where I really miss them. In my dreams, they are still alive. I have songs that remind me of them. Sometimes I wish I would forget, but then I am so scared of forgetting them, loosing their memory. And it's such a cruel thought that they live through my memories and, with my death, the memories will be gone. All my memories of my grandmother will be forgotten and this is so sad about life, that after one or two generations, you will be gone like you never exisited... and life... well, life with its ups and downs, with sunshine, warm springs and singing birds... it will just go on... without you. My fear does not lie in death, really: death can be a triumph. I think it is most scary to grow old and bear all the memories of the loved ones lost.

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